SimbOra: Viver A Índia

Two years ago one first step, kinda tied up, was given by these feet into the Ayurveda’s universe. Like a happy incident, the beliefs, the skepticisms, the doubts and the nothing suffered from a gust that not only made my world tremble, as well of the people’s which are part of it.

We always have to deal with the nauseas of the roller-coaster that is our lives. Nauseas of the world and of ourselves, that we call suffering. In those happy days, “happy” was that branch that was left behind on a deep dive of a cliff. And the cliff was bottomless, I was this bottomless. But with the time, everything converted in radiant stars, as all suffering in full action.

Maybe you can identify with it. The steady decisions were slowly melting, sublimating. The doubts and desires were countless and confusing in swarm, making noises wherever I would go. I wanted to be beside whoever needed any type of caring, acting, bringing a smile, sheltering, but I couldn’t give the first step. Maybe because the way I understood things. I believed that only the medicine university and the life I was living were synonyms of everything I was seeking.

But would I be satisfied learning the medical science? What is medicine today? Only the physician has the power of taking care of someone? What is illusion? Is there a protocol that works for everybody? The frustrations were repeating itself after another disapprovals, I was studying like nothing else mattered, only that vacancy on the medicine college. I was living a suicide between the books and an absurd routine that unfortunately is well known for most of the students: My home was the school, and my house, the old one, had become only a dormitory. From 7 Am to 21 Pm life was passing by between books and theoretical classes. I forgot that my objective was to take care of people and not to be a “doctor”, I was walking to a path that would lead me to have no conditions to do what I truly wanted.

Then, Ayurveda was introduced to me and I, at first, immersed in society’s concepts, didn’t want to lose hours of study in a course that for me was meant to be done after a graduation. But with some insistence of that one that knows more about me than myself, my beloved mother, and also of that guiding hand that was always nurturing me with valuable interrogations, my dear friend, Nilsa Seixas, I began the course, but with that idea of not finishing it, I was more concerned about the SAT exam.

Saturday morning, people with comforting presence and the introduction of ayurveda. At first the shock, with professionals talking about today’s medicine, the pharmaceutical industry, other ways of acting, and the possibilities of ayurveda, this millenary science and its reaches. From this point, still skeptic, I continued the course to find evidences of everything taught in that morning. After two years, a lot of experiences, and the discovery of new worlds, a lot to see and to witness, here I am.

In a short period of time, after lots of crises and conflicts, I had a glance of what was real, I was lead to question internally and externally and reflect deeply about lots of believes through dialogues. I was finding my axis, practicing everything I was learning. I realized the destruction that I was imposing on myself, I knew people and worlds that was nurturing and teaching me. Suddenly I didn’t remember being that girl of yesterday. I learn how to study with consciousness and how efficient was to take care of myself, how I could help the people around me without that framed diploma. I could study to the SAT and for ayurveda.

The society didn’t approve my choices and my parent’s supporting. Many, unfortunately judge without knowing what they are criticizing. Despite this, I comprehend them as I comprehend my way of thinking in the past. I know the good intentions of them in questioning and criticizing the way I’ve chosen.

In these years, with the people I’ve lived and with the experiences and new visions, I became stronger. I got out from the cocoon I was living and I opened my mind, lived the reality, with real people and saw that nothing was that grey and monochromatic as I suspected. I rescued the taste for the chase of everything, of living integrally. Ayurveda was enlaced with the bundles that leaded me to the place I am today. It’s the universe and its synchronicity acting magnificently, allowing me to leave these sandals behind and feel the grounds of the world, with my own feet.

With real gratitude to my dear parents, brother, family members and friends that love me and brought me here, supporting my falls and sharing my joys.

Namastê!

 (Tradução de Pedro Ian Brambilla)